I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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