Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
