Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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