toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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