after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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