Nicole vs. Life
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Never underestimate the power of titties
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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