How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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