Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize