I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize