Just fell off a train. Bad.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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