Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You are a genius and a whore.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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