That's intense
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
