Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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