covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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