I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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