Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Too much gin, very little bucket
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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