I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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