; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had to cum in my sink.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
