i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
