can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
