I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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