its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
