sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
