would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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