I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
