Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
