Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
