RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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