If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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