Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
