Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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