im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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