love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
