it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
