i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
