When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize