Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
