there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
