i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just threw up on my dentist
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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