I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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