so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
