I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
