im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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