in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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