no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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