I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
