everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
