You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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