the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
