I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
