You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize