Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
