in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
