once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize