Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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