You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
