Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
