I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
