Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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