you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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