How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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