yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
