he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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