I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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