well you can't waste a boner
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
