So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
