your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
